A Woman's World?

             What to do with dad on birth day?

              
                                               This is my husband Kendrick.
      
              He was very involved with putting the baby where it is, and now we are facing the question of how involved he should be in helping to get it out. I know that a lot has changed over time. There was a time when there were no dads allowed in the birthing room, and there were no waiting rooms near the birthing rooms for dads to wait in either. They had to wait in the hospital lobby until the doctor finally made it out to them to deliver the words, "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl" along with a pat on the back and a firm shake of the hand. Now, fortunately, things are a bit more modern in that area, and men are now allowed in the hospital room but their levels of involvement vary a lot. And who can blame them? I don't know about you but watching the person I love most in the world go through a tremendous amount of pain is not something I would like to sign up for. But, knowing what we know now about there being an option for a gentle, pain-free birth (which we will refer to as hypnobirthing in this post) allows more ivolvement for the father. This is a quote from the book I'm currently reading called "Hypnobirthing" (The Monogan Method) by Marie F. Monogan about the father's involvement,

                   "(Hynobirthing) is about helping men let go and free themselves from centuries-old programming that has gradually eroded their role in birth and made them onlookers in one of the greatest and most important experiences of their lives. It's about the manner in which they welcome a new little person into their family and into their lives, and it's about accepting responsibility for achieving the safest most comfortable birth for their baby."

        Birth should be a very intimate family experience, not something where the dad is just an observer. What many people fail to realize is that it is the Dad's baby too.

      I would just like to say that in our family’s birth journey, Kendrick has been very involved from the beginning. He is just as excited to meet our baby as I am, and he wants to do everything necessary to prepare. He has attended all of my prenatal appointments, met our (amazing!) midwife with me, read all of the underlined portions I gave him to read from the birth books I’ve been reading, and lies down with me and listens when I read stories to the baby. On birth day, I want him to be able to walk in his role as the father and not have it taken away from him, and let him be as involved as possible. Right now we are discussing the idea of having him in the birth pool with me and I would love him to be the one to receive the baby, to be the first hands the baby feels in this world. He thinks that sounds pretty great too.

                                    Here’s what I will not be doing on birth day:
                                                          DAD-SHAMING.
            

There will be no hurling insults, blaming, or throwing things at my husband during labor. How dysfunctional would it be for the first family experience that our baby hears or sees is me attacking their dad like a wild animal? Um this can’t be my family God. This lady is crazy. Put me back in now please.

But in all seriousness, it was about the two of us when we started this thing, and I know I will want it to be the two of us who raise the baby together, so the two of us should work together to bring this little life into the world. And personally, I couldn't be more grateful for the man that I have at my side.