My Newborn Cloth Diapers came in today!

 

 They're here!!!

My newborn cloth diapers came in today and I cannot wait to see how they work for baby C. I was originally going to just buy the "one size fits all" type but I read that they are generally too big for most newborns, and although I will probably put the baby in Pampers Swaddlers for the first few days (I have a whole box anyway) I would like to use these until baby C is big enough for the standard ones.
When I opened the box it came with some very helpful tips and instructions, including that this company advises washing them before putting them on baby-but only washing two or three before trying them out. That way, if they don't fit the baby or there is a problem, I can send the rest back if I need to. I don't anticipate that happening but I think it's smart, so today I will be washing three little cloth diapers to have them ready for the baby.
One of my cloth diapering mommies shared with me that I don't need to use the "bumgenius" cloth diaper laundry detergent, or any specific "cloth diapering" detergent. The information that came with my diapers advises using "additive-free detergents. No perfumes, dyes, whiteners, brighteners, softeners, enzymes, or other fabric enhancers" since I already use an all natural, fragrance and dye free detergent for my regular laundry anyway, I will go ahead and use that.
Now all I need to fully get an idea of how well cloth diapers work for me is the baby :)

The Cost of A Midwife

“The midwife considers the miracle of childbirth as normal, and leaves it alone unless there's trouble. The obstetrician normally sees childbirth as trouble; if he leaves it alone, it's a miracle.”   ― Sheila Stubbs
                        I. AM. EXCITED.

           Like, wake up in the morning smiling, walk around with a stupid grin on my face excited. I have actually never attended a birth before, but I am so excited for mine. I realize that this is not the normal feeling most new mom's have when they think about "labor" (I try to stay away from that word, preferring to use "delivery" or "birth" instead because just saying "labor" put's a negative picture in my mind. Sweaty, screaming mother in agony, you know, Hollywood stuff) in fact, over 70 % of first time mom's feel afraid when they think about delivery day. I guess what changes things for me is the fact that the only other person who has talked to me about what delivery day is going to look like for me is my midwife, and she is awesome. She is excited. Therefore I am excited. She sees birth as a natural thing that she is absolutely confident that my body can do and is eagerly awaiting her chance to participate in this awesome day. And, another thing I keep telling myself is, at the end of delivery day, I will have something I've never had before. A baby! It's like Christmas I'm telling you.
         Getting prepped for delivery this way, with this kind of support, is why having a midwife to accompany me on this journey is so important to me. And it's not something that comes without expense, but I believe that sometimes things are so valuable in a way that can be measured beyond money, that they far outweigh their cost in dollars. In a nutshell, it is so worth it to me. I wanted to share with all of my family and friends the real cost of a midwife, in case they also think that this is important enough to want to contribute and share the cost of the labor with me :)
           
         Insurance companies do NOT pay for home birth's or any midwifery services.

           My midwife's name is Paula Matthews and she is a member of the Midwives Alliance of North America and the Arizona Association of Midwives.  She has been a childbirth educator for many years and a La Leche League Leader and has also served on the advisory committee to the Midwife Licensing Department and served two terms on her local School Board.
You can check out her website here: http://www.homebirthaz.com/index

            Her service charge is $2,400.00 and at her office I receive all of my check-ups, nutritional coaching, exercise training, hypnobirthing classes, breastfeeding and baby care support, breath and pain-management coaching, positive visualizations and more. She will be attending to me and assisting my birth along with her two assistants, and tending to the babies first few check-ups afterwards. She offers 24/7 emotional and spiritual support for me as well. So that's a lot haha. In addition to her midwife costs, I will have a few more expenses on birth day:

         My birth kit- $49.63 from www.inhishands.com which includes:

         

Underpad 23 X 36	9
Underpad, 23 X 24	9
Hydrogen Peroxide, 16 ounce	1
Cover Sponge by Kendall, sterile 4 X 4, 2/pkg	12
Bulb Syringe, 3 ounces, sterile	1
Scrub Brush, Hibiclens	1
Peri Bottle, 8 oz	1
Infant hat	2
Stretch Briefs - unisize	1
Tape Measure, infant, 2 ft/60 cm	1
Alcohol Prep Pad	2
Plastic Cord Clamp - Sterile	1
Lube Jelly, Bottle, 4 ounces, sterile	1
Glove, Medium, Pair, VINYL, sterile	4
Glove  Sterile Medium Single, VINYL	14
Flexible Drinking Straws	2
Thermometer, digital	1

 

    Waterbirth supplies-$150.00 www.yourwaterbirth.com

• La Bassine pool for home and hospital-$120.00
• La Bassine pool liner-$30.00
• A tarp or large plastic drop cloth
• A brand new garden type hose
• 2 Clean buckets
• 2 large stew pans
• Duct tape
• Bleach or disinfectant
• Several pounds of sea salt
• A fish net or kitchen strainer
• A mat or crib mattress

       Other supplies-which I don't have specific prices for yet

• A large plastic sheet ( 1 or 2 drop cloths or a plastic shower curtain) 
• Placenta bowl (can be a cake pan, mixing bowl, or disposable pan)
• Crock pot or large stew pot
• (2) 4 oz bottles of castor oil (for babies bottom)
• 4 oz antibacterial soap
• Recharge, Gatorade, Apple Juice, 7 up or ginger ale-3 or 4 quarts
• Small bags of frozen peas
• Newborn size disposable diapers for the first 2 weeks
• 2 large garbage bags
• A nice bright flashlight with fresh batteries
• 1 roll of toilet paper or a box of tissues
• 1 roll of good paper towels
• Kotex overnights or poise pads or pull ups
• Tylenol
• An unopened tube of superglue gel
• Linens-
• 3 sheets (2 fitted, 1 flat)
• A dozen or more wash cloths
• 6-8 receiving blankets
• 6 or more large bath towels
• An outfit for baby

So that's it people, everything I need for the big day, which I am estimating to cost around $3,000.00 total for the whole birth. If anyone feels they want to help with the birth, whether by donating one of these items or making a financial donation, it would be a big help! I know that it is going to be so worth it in the end, and I hope you agree!
 

        

            

 
 

 

Taking The Leap-Cloth Diapers

  CLOTH DIAPERS
I'm really committed at this point.

 

        I'm sure most of you have heard of cloth diapers...it's not exactly a new concept, but like me, you may feel uninformed and puzzled about the whole idea. I had seen people use cloth diapers and apparently they were pretty successful and happy about it, but I just wasn't too sure about whether this was something for our family or not.
         Well, I decided today that since I am faced with the quickly approaching deadline of BABY BEING BORN and all that it was time to stop hemming and hawing about which type of diapers we were going to use and just spend the afternoon doing some research.
                                         
                              (spoiler alert: I bought twelve newborn cloth diapers today)

        

              I started my search on Pinterest, because I knew that I had pinned some information about cloth diapers to read later, and I stumbled upon a pretty helpful article:

                                       http://thecrunchymoose.com/cloth-diapers/

I liked this article because she took if from the very basics of cloth diapering and answered all of my questions, including some numbers that really helped to convince the hubs later on. The first and major argument for cloth diapers is that they are so much less expensive! The average cost for disposables from birth to potty training is about $2,000-2,500. I am looking at spending around $600 on all of my cloth diapering gear, and that includes making my own wet wipes, which I will address in another post. The coolest part is, when baby # 2 comes along (God willing!) I won't have to buy any more supplies if I take care of the diapers I have now. Another cool fact is they are already basically swim diapers so there is no need to buy any of those. Also, babies who wear cloth diapers generally don't get diaper rash. Like at all. Here's what anyone needs to get started:

•   Cloth Diapers- there are so many different types and styles! I read a great article about distinguishing between them: http://www.hellobee.com/2013/01/08/diaper-styles/ and decided that the "AIO" Or "All In One" style by bumGenius would work best for me. It's closest in style to a disposable, you don't have to stick in any inserts (they're sewn in) which means you can just throw it in the diaper bag when it's soiled, and they're not as bulky as other cloth diapers which is nice.
• A working washer/dryer: The way to get these clean is simple. Too simple. So when you take the poopy diaper off of the baby, you take it over to the toilet and you use a sprayer attachment like the one made by bumGenius and you spray it with water until its basically clean. Then, it goes into the diaper bag. When the diaper bag is full (or you are about to run out of diapers) you wash them in the washing machine. You run them through a cycle of cold and then a cycle of hot with a baby safe laundry detergent and then one more rinse cycle to get all the extra detergent out. Then tumble dry. That's it.
• Sprayer Attachment
• Wet Diaper Bag

And then they have additional inserts that you can put inside of the diapers as your little one gets bigger and is holding more in their bladder and even attachable snaps in case the diapers are getting to small. Basically, I'm sold. So I bought a dozen newborn diapers and put 24 or so regular sized diapers (which will last from newborn to toddler) on my registry at Amazon.com (just search Kali Carpenter) I wanted to see if people would gift them to me before I bought anymore. And since a single cloth diaper costs about as much as a box of diapers, I may have a cloth diaper raffle at my shower. Who knows?

                                 

 

For This Child I Have Prayed

    Praying for Your Baby

           "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart for  my holy purpose. I appointed you to be a prophet to the nations."-Jeremiah 1:5

 

          Before we knew that we were pregnant, a friend of mine knew that we weren't trying to not get pregnant, so she suggested that I start praying for my future babies and gave me this book as a gift, "Prayers & Promises for Supernatural Childbirth". She told me that in this book the author believed that a woman could have a birth free from any pain, because as children of God we are no longer under the curse of sin. A few weeks later I found out that we were in fact pregnant, and began saying this prayer over my growing child. I wanted to share it with you here:

                   Thank you, Father, for this child. I can say with Hannah, "For this child I prayed and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him."
                   Thank you, Lord, for a wonderful pregnancy, an enjoyable pregnancy. Thank you that I am in control of my body and the Word has preeminence in my life. I will not be subject to my emotions, but they are subject to Your Word. I'll not have morning sickness. You said you bless my bread and water and take sickness out of my midst. Not only will I enjoy this pregnancy, but my family will, as well. It will be a good time, a pleasant time. I'll rest well and sleep well. You said you give Your beloved sleep. I'll watch what I eat and not gain too much weight. The children of Israel walked forty years in the wilderness and their feet didn't swell; my feet will not swell in Jesus's name. Thank you for what Your Word calls blessings of the breasts and womb (Gen. 49:25) I'll not have sore or cracked nipples or breasts.
                I will feel feminine. I radiate life. I glow and am attractive during this pregnancy. My husband will enjoy being with me, and I will enjoy being with him. I'll be amorous and loving toward my husband. Your Word says that he is always ravished with my love and my breasts satisfy him at all times. He has no need of spoil during this time and he drinks waters from his own well, and he rejoices with the wife of his youth, the wife of his covenant-me! We will continue to have a good and blessed sex life during this pregnancy!
           
              This pregnancy will be full duration, full term. I'm a tither, and my vine won't cast its fruit before its time in the field. You said Ii would not cast my young or miscarry and the number of my days You would fulfill. Thank you that you bless the fruit of my womb. My baby is covered in my womb as David declared. You said numerous times in the Bible that You formed and fashioned our baby in the womb and at the right time You will separate my baby from my womb and carry it gently from my womb.

                Father, I declare over this precious one, as I do over all my family, that we are healed by the stripes of Jesus. No sickness, no plague, no evil can come upon us. Your angels have charge over us and keep us in all our ways and lift us up lest we dash our foot against a stone. Just like all the ladies of fait in the Bible, I will give birth to a healthy, whole baby, a child whose heart is toward God and Your promise. And Your command is that if we train this child up in the way he/she should go that he/she won't depart from it when he/she is old. Our baby will honor his/her father and mother and obey; therefore it will be well (not sick) with our child, and he/she will live long on the earth.

              Father, I speak to my body and to my baby-to every part, every organ, every system to function properly and perfectly, fully developed as You intended from the beginning. I declare health, wholeness, soundness, spirit, soul, and body from the top of the head to the bottom of the feet.

                Eyes:  Vision, be perfect. Moses was 120 years old and his eye wasn't dim.
               Ears: Hear perfectly.
              Skin: Complexion, be good.
              Teeth: Form perfectly. Be strong, not prone to cavities. "Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone."- Song of Solomon 4:2
              Bones: Be strong, healthy, straight, none broken. "he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken." -Psalm 34:20
              Heart: Be strong, healthy, and untroubled. ""Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me."-John 14:1
             Respiratory System: Be healthy and strong lungs and bronchial passages; no sinus problems, hay fever, bronchitis.
            Blood: Be normal, healthy. Maintain the proper blood sugar; no pollution in the blood. ""'Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, "Live!"-Ezekiel 16:6
            Digestive system: Function normally.
            Position of baby and cord: Baby, be head down and in perfect position at birth. Cord, be the perfect length and position, not around the baby's neck.
           Temperament: Be full of peace-a calm, sweet spirit and tender heart.
          Sleeping habits: Baby, you will sleep at night; you will get plenty of rest and let us rest.
         Bab's spirit: You will be tender toward God and the things of God; saved at an early age.

                We pray for the medical professionals we are involved with that they will have the mind of Christ and wisdom of God concerning our family and this baby. The eyes of their understanding be opened to You, Father, lead and guide them how to care for me by Your Spirit. I say we have favor with them, that they are cooperative with us and what we are doing, that all is well in Jesus's name.

           Thank you Father for this time for our family and time to spend with You. Thank you for fulfilling Your promises in Your Word. In Jesus's name, Amen.

         

A Woman's World?

             What to do with dad on birth day?

              
                                               This is my husband Kendrick.
      
              He was very involved with putting the baby where it is, and now we are facing the question of how involved he should be in helping to get it out. I know that a lot has changed over time. There was a time when there were no dads allowed in the birthing room, and there were no waiting rooms near the birthing rooms for dads to wait in either. They had to wait in the hospital lobby until the doctor finally made it out to them to deliver the words, "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl" along with a pat on the back and a firm shake of the hand. Now, fortunately, things are a bit more modern in that area, and men are now allowed in the hospital room but their levels of involvement vary a lot. And who can blame them? I don't know about you but watching the person I love most in the world go through a tremendous amount of pain is not something I would like to sign up for. But, knowing what we know now about there being an option for a gentle, pain-free birth (which we will refer to as hypnobirthing in this post) allows more ivolvement for the father. This is a quote from the book I'm currently reading called "Hypnobirthing" (The Monogan Method) by Marie F. Monogan about the father's involvement,

                   "(Hynobirthing) is about helping men let go and free themselves from centuries-old programming that has gradually eroded their role in birth and made them onlookers in one of the greatest and most important experiences of their lives. It's about the manner in which they welcome a new little person into their family and into their lives, and it's about accepting responsibility for achieving the safest most comfortable birth for their baby."

        Birth should be a very intimate family experience, not something where the dad is just an observer. What many people fail to realize is that it is the Dad's baby too.

      I would just like to say that in our family’s birth journey, Kendrick has been very involved from the beginning. He is just as excited to meet our baby as I am, and he wants to do everything necessary to prepare. He has attended all of my prenatal appointments, met our (amazing!) midwife with me, read all of the underlined portions I gave him to read from the birth books I’ve been reading, and lies down with me and listens when I read stories to the baby. On birth day, I want him to be able to walk in his role as the father and not have it taken away from him, and let him be as involved as possible. Right now we are discussing the idea of having him in the birth pool with me and I would love him to be the one to receive the baby, to be the first hands the baby feels in this world. He thinks that sounds pretty great too.

                                    Here’s what I will not be doing on birth day:
                                                          DAD-SHAMING.
            

There will be no hurling insults, blaming, or throwing things at my husband during labor. How dysfunctional would it be for the first family experience that our baby hears or sees is me attacking their dad like a wild animal? Um this can’t be my family God. This lady is crazy. Put me back in now please.

But in all seriousness, it was about the two of us when we started this thing, and I know I will want it to be the two of us who raise the baby together, so the two of us should work together to bring this little life into the world. And personally, I couldn't be more grateful for the man that I have at my side.

At Home Water Birth

The Benefits of Water
for Labor and/or Birth      

As many of you know, I am planning on having a water birth, which is different in comparison to a "land birth" (this title makes me giggle) in that instead of lying down in a bed or squatting against a wall, I will be gently resting in a pool of warm water. 

On a side note here, before I get into all of the benefits and things like that...I just love water birth pictures...especially the one above.

                                                     

         

                                                          

I also love how water birth creates such intimacy within the family. Like with the following picture, dad is actually in the pool with her, which I think it amazing. 

                                                             

One of the things about water birth that is most appealing to me is that you have your own environment to work with. You're not on a table splayed open for all to see, but you have this place of safety and security where you can immerse yourself and be calm. Here are some other amazing benefits to giving birth in the water:

1. Greater comfort and mobility. The mother has much greater ease and freedom to move spontaneously and to change position to assist the descent of the baby.
2. Reduction of pressure on the abdomen. Buoyancy promotes more efficient uterine contractions and better blood 2circulation, resulting in better oxygenation of the uterine muscles, less pain for the mother, and more oxygen for the baby.

3. Promotes deeper relaxation. As a woman relaxes deeply in water, her hormones kick in and she starts progressing faster and with more rhythm; labor becomes more efficient.

4. Water minimizes pain so effectively that for most women other pain control methods are no longer needed.
5. Lowering of blood pressure. When anxiety is causing high blood pressure, immersion in water often helps lower it.
6. Change of consciousness. Immersion helps relieve anxiety and promotes relaxation. Water helps a woman to let go and focus inward as labor strengthens.
7. The warm water softens the vagina, vulva, and perineum, leading to fewer injuries to these tissues.
8. Greater involvement of the father. Because the mother's pain and stress is so greatly reduced, it is much easier for fathers to particpate and take a more active role in the birthing process. Many men are reluctant to become involved in the birth experience when they know that the mother is likely to endure intense pain, trauma and suffering during labor and delivery, but when the mother's pain is dramatically reduced, many fathers eagerly take a more active role in the delivery, resulting in a greater family bond. When fathers are more involved it increases the possibility of a joyous birth. Both parents and child get to share a wonderous experience that can enhance their relationships with each other for the rest of their lives. 9. Better parent-child interactions. A mother who has had a beautiful and empowering birth experience will have an especially positive association in her mind and emotions to that child; and a baby who has had an easy, non-traumatic, not painful, gentle birth will have an especially positive association to the parent. This exceptionally positive start to their relationship will likely enhance the parent-child interactions forever.

Because I'm giving birth at home and not at a hospital, I have to make sure that all of the equipment necessary for the birth is already there, and one very important thing for this water birth is a tub.
 

                               This one is from YourWaterBirth.com and came highly recommended to me by my midwife and costs $120.00. Then you also have to buy liners which are $15.00 each. Unfortunately insurance companies do not pay for things like home births, water births, or midwives, so everything that is included as a part of our birth journey, we are paying for out of pocket, because it is important to us. 
****A great baby gift for us would be this pool!!****
Out of pocket, we are looking at about $3,000 to have this baby, which is still 1/10th of what it would cost to birth in a hospital. It seems like a big expense but I know that it will be worth it. What better way to start out in life than in the best enviornment possible? This non-traumatic, gentle birth will be a wonderful welcome for our little one into the world. Don't you agree?

Top Young Living Essential Oils for Labor and Delivery

               Young Living Essential Oils
                                               also known as: The best things ever!
This is an article that I found on Pinterest taken from: http://totheheights.com/2085/top-ten-essential-oils-labor-delivery/ I know that I absolutely want to utilize these oils during my delivery and I'm including them here in case any of you are curious about using them in pregnancy/delivery or everyday life. If you're curious about Essential Oils, I would love to talk to you about them!



1. Fennel and Clary Sage // These oils can help spur on labor once it has begun. When I was trying to get labor going, I took these oils internally (one drop of each, two times) and rubbed them on the inside of my ankles. I was in for-real labor 5 hours later. Fennel and Clary Sage can also be combined with Ylang Ylang and Peppermint and rubbed on the pinky toes to keep the contractions coming.
2. Lavender, Peace and Calming, and Gentle Baby // This is my absolute favorite combination to diffuse. It helps relax mom, dad, and baby. It is so soothing. We diffused a combination of 10 drops Lavender, 10 drops Gentle Baby, and 5 drops Peace and Calming during early labor at home, throughout the entire labor process in the hospital, and during our stay in the Mother/Baby Unit. We still diffuse this combination every single day.
I also applied lavender to my feet during early labor to help relax me so that contractions would continue to come on strong.
3. Thieves and Purification // These oils have antibacterial and anti-fungal qualities, so we diffused them for germ-combating purposes. We diffused this combination (15 drops Thieves, 10 drops Purification) when we first got into our hospital room to clean the air, and again once we were moved to Mother/Baby Unit. Any time we knew visitors were coming, we diffused this combination in order to avoid exposing little George’s new immune system to an influx of germs.
4. Peppermint // Peppermint was helpful when I was feeling exhausted during labor. I would inhale the peppermint directly from the bottle and it would wake me right up! I also inhaled peppermint to help ease the nausea brought on by transition. Dave would just hold it under my nose when I felt queasy and it often helped settle my belly.
5. Valor // I put five stars by this oil ***** See? You must have this for labor, y’all. It’s incredible. Valor is often called “chiropractor in a bottle”  because it helps align the bod. The smell of valor is also invigorating and, in a weird way, encouraging. We used this oil topically more than any other oil. We put this oil in a roller bottle for easy and abundant application. Dave would rub it on my feet, thighs, lower back, and shoulders. The combination of the smell and it’s aligning properties really helped me pull through some of the tougher contractions.
Although this doesn’t fall under the “labor” category, Valor was also extremely helpful during early postpartum. It helped my back and hips get back into their, shall we say, pre-pregnancy positions. During those first midnight feedings, when nursing was entirely discouraging and my fatigue was seemingly insurmountable, I would apply Valor to the back of my neck and wrists to help me refocus and stay positive.
6. PanAway // I remember the function of PanAway by thinking of it as “PainAway”. Get it? It’s almost the same word, and PanAway is used to take pain away. Pretty nifty, eh? Anyway, PanAway is awesome for sore muscles, aches, and bodily pains. During labor, then, Dave would use PanAway in combination with Valor on my feet, lower back, hips, and neck. It really did help ease the pain of contractions. I could tell when we didn’t use it between contractions because they would be much more intense.
7. Frankincense // Good for use on the perineum to help prevent tearing. We also used this on George right after he was born. We mixed one drop of Frank with a carrier oil and rubbed it on George’s head within 10 minutes of his birth. Frankincense helps boost the immune system and promotes brain development (Remember how the wise men brought Frankincense to Jesus? There’s a reason for that. They knew that Frankincense was super helpful in keeping babies healthy and encouraging their development after birth). Frankincense also just smells good, which is nice to have amidst the other, less-inticing smells of labor …
8. Ylang Ylang and Geranium // Ylang Ylang can be used to advance labor. Ylang Ylang in combination with Geranium is great to use on mama’s stomach after delivery. It helps tone and tighten the uterus and helps slow bleeding.
9. En-R-Gee // En-R-Gee helps with energy, but you probably already reached that conclusion but it also promotes vitality and alertness. We diffused this during the pushing stage; it was when I was most exhausted but needed the most energy and stamina.
10. Roman Chamomile // Dave would put some Roman Chamomile on a cold washcloth and apply it to my forehead during transition. This is was so immensely helpful, I can’t recommend it enough. The Roman Chamomile would help me relax and it felt refreshing when paired with the coolness of the washcloth.

Also, for my own personal side note, oils listed here that I do not yet have: Fennel and Clary Sage, Gentle Baby, Ylang Ylang, Geranium, ,En-r-Gee, and Roman Chamomile.

Just say no

My response to "required" prenatal tests and newborn vaccines.

Prenatal testing is something that can be tricky. If you don't allow yourself to be injected with a variety of chemicals and viruses, YOU COULD BE RESPONSIBLE for the death of your child. If you refuse the tests, it could even be deemed "child abuse" and charges could be pressed against you. And how could you live with yourself knowing that your child had an illness or defect that could have been detected early in the pregnancy, and you could have saved the child so much pain and suffering if you would've just seen the defect and done the humane thing and aborted the pregnancy.

Here's what I think. "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." -Psalm 139:13-14

I figure that God is a pretty good knitter, and that this baby, who we've prayed over, is going to come out exactly how God wants him/her to. So I told the midwife no. To everything. And I will keep saying no until the child is born and even still after when people keep trying to INJECT MY BABY with things. Some people would probably consider this ignorant, and still some might even consider this unfair to the baby. But the truth is, I don't want to know. I want to receive the whole baby just the way he/she is, just the way God made them, and if they look a little different or think a little different they will still be perfect to God and to me. And we will handle it when it comes, if it comes.

A boy or girl?

Is it a BOY or a GIRL?

                                              

To peek or not to peek...That is the question.
What kind of kid before Christmas were you? Did you dutifully avoid the closet where the presents were so tantalizingly "hidden" and wait for the big reveal on Christmas morning...or bursting with excitement and curiosity did you make frequent raids of the plastic sacks hidden with care just behind the shoe rack? I was the latter. Why save all of the excitement until Christmas morning? Why not spread it out evenly for all of the days leading up to it? That was my idea of fun. And as far as the element of surprise? Overrated. Instant gratification was always much more rewarding in my child's mindset.

Well, I've grown up a little since then, and I'm faced with a different kind of Christmas morning surprise...I am going to have a baby, the best present of all, wrapped with love and delivered right into my arms, and the first question that people always ask me is "Did you find out yet? Is it a boy or a girl?" As I would sadly shake my head "no" I would try to will in my mind the date of the ultrasound, the big gender reveal, to come a little faster. Oooh how impatient I felt! Just like the kid waiting for Christmas morning, too anxious to know what was inside of my gifts NOW, and sneaking to the closet to peek. And trust me, I had some great reasons to justify in my mind finding out the gender of that little baby human. For instance:
         Bonding! I will be able to bond with the baby so much better if I can know how to address it, as my little boy or my little girl.
          Preparing! There are so many cute baby things to be bought! How do I know whether to buy them in pink or blue?? Or worse *gasp* how will my good-hearted, gift-giving family members and friends know whether to buy pink or blue??
         Convenience! If I can do all of the work now to have the nursery/closet/baby stuff all ready and set up so that all I need to do is "just add baby"...I won't have to make any mad dashes to target with a newborn in my arms because all of the socks I have are pink! PINK! And he's a bouncing baby boy?!
         And another thing...what about personalization? Do I get everything embroidered with Kieran Alexander or Gwyneth Estelle? Do I buy a K or a G for the nursery? How can I be prepared with so much unknown?!?!?!
And then I took a step back. What do I call these feelings? Anxiety? Impatience? Being convenience-minded? Since when do any of these emotions ever profit anyone in the long run? Was I willing to take something that could be so incredibly wonderful and special away from myself and my husband in the name of convenience, and to satisfy my growing impatience? I mean, no one likes to wait. But don't good things come to those who wait?

I then started to think about it this way: I cannot  WAIT for May 30th or whenever baby Carpenter decides it is time to enter the world. Like, I am SO excited. This feels like Christmas x 5 because not only do I get an amazing present but it's also like a tiny person who I get to welcome into the world and form a relationship with. So cool! And I know that I am going to love this little person no matter what parts it is born with, and be equally as thrilled. I daydream about hearing my midwife say those triumphant words "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" and looking into Kendrick's eyes, beaming with excitement because here is our little Gwen, or our baby Ky right there in my arms. And then I think about sitting in the doctor's office, that weird jelly stuff on my belly and peering at the fuzzy image on the screen and hearing the ultrasound tech say "It's a boy" or "It's a girl" and it just doesn't feel like the same moment to me.
And so I revisited my previous excuses and found that they were things that could be worked around.
For instance, bonding! This doesn't really count because I definitely love this baby inside of me way more than I did yesterday and I can't imagine the love I will have for it tomorrow. I think about it all of the time and spend time talking to him/her, reading aloud, and pushing on my belly when I feel kicks to say "hello" back. My baby isn't worried about what gender it is right now, and I shouldn't be either.
And as far as preparedness and the nursery and buying baby stuff...the important stuff comes in neutral colors anyway like clear plastic bottles and white cribs. My nursery plans involve a pallet of soft, neutral, soothing colors anyway and lambs aren't specifically boy or girl either. As far as my well meaning friends and family, I will just let them know that grey is always acceptable, yellow, tan, white, and a slew of other non-baby specific patterns/colors. And if they are sure in their heart of hearts that the baby is one sex or the other, then by all means by with confidence, just keep the receipt!
Everything in my world will be okay even if there are a few items in baby's closet that don't quite...apply...and odds are as a new mom I will be making frequent trips to the store anyway. So, now with this new decision, I feel a lot more calm. A lot more at peace. And I think I'm enjoying the countdown even MORE.

Baby day is coming. It will be soon, and our family will get to have that moment, which I believe we will never forget.

Letter to A New Mamma

       If you could go back and      
encourage your new mama-self,
         what would you tell her? 

                                                    Taken from biblicalhomemaking.com


     If I had the chance, I'd tell that 21-year-old mama girl this and more:

1. Look into their little eyes. Look at them- really look at them. You can show your little one so much love just by holding their gaze.

2. Be proud of what those little ones accomplish, and tell them you are. You don't easily forget the praise of others, and neither do they.

3. Understand what makes them excited and be interested in it. Speak encouraging words of life into their passions.

4. Help them practice sitting still without distractions- in places like church, in restaurants, and in waiting rooms. Teaching them how to wait will be a gift to you in the present, and a gift to them in the future.

5. Tell them stories. Real life ones- things you've seen, places you've been, lessons you've learned- let them learn from your life experience.

6. Teach them how to be diligent by showing them how to do tasks over and over, until they're done right. It will take so much work at first, but it will be worth the effort in the end.

7. Surprise them sometimes. They will look back on it with such fondness later.

8. Tell them you love them often. Like all the time.

9. Hug them, kiss them, pick them up, and when they're too big, let them pick you up. Kind affection is a gift of it's own.

10. Pray for them out loud. When they're being stubborn, when they're hurt, when they're afraid, pray to their Father with them- in front of them- so they can learn to do the same on their own. Show them we aren't in control, and neither are they.

If anything, hope to remember that you have been given a gift from the Lord: the beautiful blessing of being a mama of these little children.

My Birth Philosophy

I want to have a natural birth

 

more specifically, a water birth at home with no pain medicine, IVs, or machines that I have to be hooked up to. The main reason that I wanted to have a birth like this is I loved hearing about Meghann's home birth and seeing the pictures. 

Reasons I don't want to give birth in a hospital:
1. I don't believe giving birth is a medical procedure, it's a natural body process just like conception. (My body could make the baby, grow the baby, and can move the baby out) 2. I don't want drugs or vaccines to be administered to me or my baby against my will (there is no placenta barrier. Everything that I get the baby gets)
3. I believe that if I'm in a relaxed, comfortable environment, my body will do what it's made to do naturally. Labor isn't a medical emergency or something that needs to be "treated".
4. I want to be the first one, besides whoever catches the baby, to hold him/her.

BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL OF THAT PAIN?

*disclaimer: Don't assume I've lost my mind. Hear me out.

1. I believe that labor can be, and was intended to be, pain-free. (In a normal, healthy mother and baby.)

2. Physiologically, there is no reason for a mother giving birth naturally and without complication, to experience pain. We have no problem with "dumb" animals not experiencing pain during their deliveries, we believe that for them a smooth, pain-free labor is just nature at work. But aren't we a part of nature too?

3. Spiritually, I believed that I could experience a pain-free labor because pain in labor is a part of the "curse" put upon women in Genesis. But I know that when Jesus came He said we were "free from the curse of sin" which means that as a believer in Him, this no longer applies to me. And another thing-I think this curse was mental and not physical at all. It was a curse of fear-that women who chose to live a life separate from God, a life of fear and darkness, would have fear in childbirth which would then result in pain. I will explain how in a moment. (Also, I am NOT saying that anyone who had pain in childbirth is living under a curse or that they are separate from God. I believe understanding that we are free from this curse is a gift from God that everyone can accept for themselves and since most people aren't taught that this gift is available to them, how can they know?)

4. F-T-P (Fear, Tension, Pain) Theory: This is the idea-If you are afraid about something, your muscles involuntarily tense up (in preparation to fight or flight) which can result in unnecessary pain. A good example of this would be a car crash with a drunk driver. It has been proven that intoxicated (or even sleeping) drivers whose muscles and mind are in a more relaxed state, suffer less injury in a collision than drivers who see the danger and involuntarily tense up in anticipation of the impact. A personal example of this for me would be roller coasters. The whole time that I'm on one (which is not very often) , I'm convinced that I'm going to die and my muscles are tightly drawn, ready to defend my life. Well, at the end of the day, I feel like I've been hit by a car, whereas my friends who have learned to relax and enjoy the rollercoasters, leave the park with faces beaming saying things like "I can't wait to come back!" At those moments all I want to do is throw up. How can something that was so traumatic for me be considered enjoyable by someone else? The answer: mindset. I got on the ride thinking that I was going to die, while my friends got on the ride anticipating joy and a great experience.

5. The "Roller Coaster" delivery room-when you think about labor, what do you anticipate? We've all heard the horror stories, we've all seen the movies of women screaming in agonizing pain, we've all been told it is going to hurt like nothing you've ever felt before, etc. So how do we approach this rollercoaster? (labor) Terrified. Scared beyond measure. And so what do our muscles do when we think it's our turn to experience the terror? They tense up so tightly that they cannot do what they are meant to do naturally-which results in pain for the mother and sometimes even "Failure-To-Progress" which means the body has halted labor. (Which coincidentally, is the same acronym for the Fear-Tension-Pain Theory) Doesn't this make sense though? If you were standing in a long line and watching the people in front of you disappear behind a black curtain, and all you could hear were screams of agony and begging for it to stop, when there was one person left in front of you, wouldn't you be a terrified basket case? Your muscles would be so tense, you would be ready to fight or flight, when at the moment, there is no real present danger. Only the anticipation of danger. When you stepped past the curtain and into the room to find that there was only a single person there with a pencil and a stack of papers, who asked you to take a test, you wouldn't be able to function, much less pass the test. Fear is powerful people.

6. Inside the Body-Scientifically, it goes something like this: when the mind senses danger, it goes into fight or flight mode which we know is designed to save our lives, and it halts certain bodily functions like digestion, closes arteries to organs that are not essential for defense (hint: the uterus is not considered essential for defense) in preparation to save your life. It has been observe in the wild that animals in labor who perceive danger will halt their labor until they feel safe again. Well just show a cow a typical birth scene in any movie and see if their minds don't associate labor with danger when it's time to deliver. In fact, you may have to drug that cow, cut her open, and pull the baby out with forceps because her body's natural functions have just shut down.

 

Conclusion:
So, In a nutshell, we are told our whole lives that labor is hard and painful and scary and we believe that and so it becomes. But what if we didn't know that labor was supposed to be awful? What if we just thought of it as a natural body function and when the time came, let our bodies do what they were (literally) made to do? Is it too late to rethink labor, and decide for ourselves that our bodies are capable of birthing without pain? I don't think it's too late.

 

~A new idea of birth :Think back on birth and all of your ideas about it, then imagine erasing them from your mind. I am going to tell you what your delivery is going to look like, feel like, be like. On the day of your delivery, you will go about your day in a normal way, and then you begin to feel some pressure on your abdomen. You feel within your body that things are beginning to move along so you get in a comfortable environment/position and start to relax. Your water breaks, you cervix dilates naturally, and you feel a tightening in your uterus as your baby moves down. You keep breathing and relaxing, then pop! Your little miracle. Your bundle of joy. You did it. Your body is so cool it is even designed to release endorphins during labor, but your body can only do this if it's relaxed and you aren't fearfully anticipating pain. So this is my birth philosophy. I hold no judgment over anyone who chooses to birth their babies in a different way, I just want women to know that their is an alternative, and that they can choose to have a pain-free birth.